Today is...a long time away from the last time I wrote. Seems like just yesterday I was worried about dying, being bald, and other stuff related to cancer. I guess I must be feeling better and be healthy as a horse as now I am worried about getting a job/not getting a job. A few months ago I probably wouldn't have cared either way. As crazy and as stressful as it is to be out applying, interviewing, and not getting jobs, I do appreciate the feelings that go with it, as that seems "normal" and more like what I should be worried about at 32. I'm sure there has to be someone out there who wants to give me a job. I just wish they would shout it out sometime soon.

Today is....last day for the drain bulb. If you are reading this, hopefully you don't know what a drain bulb is. It most certainly is as gross as it sounds. It is no longer with me and I feel great! Ready to rock and roll!! I'm surprised about how good I feel. I could go back to work today, but was convinced into taking the rest of the week to be sure. So close to summer. Hard to believe this school year is almost over. What a year it's been. Here's hoping next school year is boring, uneventful, routine, mundane, etc. etc.

Today is....Friday!! Since I am not working it doesn't have the exact same feel, but Friday definitely is Friday no matter what you're doing. Got my big wrap & bandage off and feel great!! Thinking ahead to how much "fun" my next surgery will be. Of course, getting the big boobs of my dreams is a little ways off, but will be fun to plan for. Jesse & I actually went out to breakfast, just us. Probably haven't done that in oh...5 years! Got to stop at my favorite paper store. Funny, what is appealing the older you get. Paper, magnets, stickers, small boxes that hold nothing. Top of my favorites list.

Today is...day 2 post op. I actually feel pretty good. I'm afraid to even say it in case I take a turn for the worst or something. I can move my arm around and walk! Not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. Glad Jesse's got his game face on and taken over as house care taker! Already trying to think of things to keep us all busy while being "trapped" together in this house all day! Crafts, drawing, etc. here we come. What are we going to do all summer? Guess worrying about things to do to keep busy sure beats worrying about other things!

Today is....the last day with my "girl parts". I never really had any attachment to my small, pre-teen boobs, but it would be nice to have something! Owell, easy come, easy go. Next year it will be upgrade time and hopefully I can get the boobs I always wanted anyway.
Losing my ovaries seems less physically demanding, but maybe a little more emotionally disturbing. It definitely signifies the end of an era. No more babies, no more periods, and the instant start of menopause. Won't miss the periods, little bummed about no more babies, and afraid of hot flashes and losing my mind. Don't really have a choice about any of it so time to get my game face on, suck it up, and get er' done. Could always be worse. There is always someone worse off than you. I will keep telling myself that tomorrow when I really am boobless, ovary and tubeless, and one small attachment away from becoming a man.

Today is....the first day I went to work without my wig since I started sprouting my crew cut. I was nervous the kids at school would be freaked out and adults would look at me funny. Turns out, most people didn't even notice. Granted, I did have a sweet hat on. I guess I could have just had my hair pulled up. Although, my natural hair is also a totally different color. In any event, it seems the crew cut is here to stay. Although I will miss the convienence of just pulling my hair on in the morning and heading out, I won't miss the itching and the raggy scraggs that the wig had become. I've always had long hair, minus that short stint in 3rd grade when my mom cut my hair all off. Could have been a bad case of lice, not sure her motivation there. Other than that, I've always had enough hair to at least put in a pony tail. Ah, the pony tail. I will have one again someday and maybe even a scrunchy to boot.

May 18, 2011

Today is....the last day I wear a wig, hopefully. After covering up my bald, now sprouting head for the last 6 months, it's time to show the world what I'm working with. My not be pretty or flattering, but at least it's mine. My wig has served it's purpose. It got me through a really tough time in my life. It was cute, before it got all tangled and scraggly. The end of an era. Here's hoping my hair comes in fast, long, and luscious.